back at this blogger ish

so today's been an interesting day, even though I didn't go outside and do much...

just been feeling sick all day lazing around the house thinking about stuff. throwing away all my papers and ish from high school, really settled the fact in my mind that I'm finally done with it. no more fucking around in class, seeing familiar faces in the hallways, chillin wit homies at lunch, school events and what not. never really liked high school in the first place to be honest, so it's funny that I'm being kinda dramatic in writing this haha. guess it's just cause I'm so used to the school routine you know. when something that takes up 5 out of 7 days in your week disappears, it hits you hard.

life goes on though, so it's whatever. plus I'll still see all my real homies, and that's all that really matters to me anyways. then as I thought about getting oranges for my stupid cold I get a message from my friend who tells me he's not gonna be in hk to chill with me anymore. cool I guess. then he tells me the reason is because his dad passed away the other day. ouch. talked to him about it for a bit to try to comfort him and it really brought back a lot of my own memories. watching my mom die slowly, and not being able to do shit about it. just straight up feeling empty and how everything was so surreal. death definitely takes it's sweet ass time. doesn't happen in a blink of an eye like in the movies for sure.

then my thoughts drifted to bboying... in between all that I was dancing and it definitely helped me stay sane. I guess that's why I'm so deep into it now. obviously I do it for fun, but there's a lot more to it than that. anyways writing about what dancing means to me would take forever so I'll just leave it at that hah.

so right now thinking about all this just makes me that much more grateful to have my dad (or my roommate as brian would say aha) still with me. I'm a dumbass though, so of course I don't have anywhere reserved for father's day tmrw- oops... good thing my dad likes to keep it low-key haha; brunch tmrw will keep him happy.